#it just wasn't something i personally should have involved myself with

[ant-diary]

I think I have maybe decided to tell someone I no longer want to be friends with them, but I'm wondering if I should give it a few more days before I commit to it

[nostalgicmiscellaneous]

This fandom created a myth about Lady Whistledown. Sometimes i wonder if i watched the same show. Let me make myself clear: While Penelope has to tell Colin the truth, because she loves him and he deserves it, LW helped the Bridgertons a lot actually. It saved them to have Daphne married to a creep ( and see how Violet wanted people to talk to reach LW and spread), saved Colin from a loveless marriage with children that he didn't know anything about it and saved Eloise. Yes, it saved Eloise. Eloise created and kept pushing the situation in her reckless pursuit. Eloise also didn't think about the consequences of her action towards the people working for LW, didn't listen to Penelope, didn't think about the risk she was putting people at. And while i understand her anger in not knowing, had she been a better friend, many other things would be different, because she truly never paid attention to what Penelope feels or want, she molded Pen to be whom she wanted and be her audience. And then, she left Pen with the choice of losing all she built and suffer consequences or pick the less harmful option: to make Eloise's scandal about politics, not romantic and save them both, plus Theo. The real ruin for Eloise would've been her being caught with Theo, something that was bound to happen as she was not careful at all. Why should Pen sacrifice all for Eloise? Would any of you sacrifice all ( job, family and possibly your liberty) for a friend who caused the bloody situation? I'm no hypocrite, i know i wouldnt. Not to mention Eloise bravado, to Pen she would say she wants to challenge society and doesn't care about what they think...but folded the moment she received a frown from the Ton. Shall we see who are LW victims, people that suffered real consequences? Lord Beerbrock. That's it. Marina is married, despite her lies and deceit. Colin? Nothing as well, in fact, happier than ever. Eloise? A few weeks of ostracism and she's back without a problem, without a romantic entanglement to ruin her. One that she clearly didn't really thought was deep enough to face society. The Bridgertons have more to thank LW than to hate her. And Violet and Anthony, i bet your asses, do think so, and see it. And The Queen? Are you watching the show? Have you seen Charlotte's personality? That woman loves the whole game with LW. And She loves to take it all, to receive the laurels of that society. As long as she can make it look like the won, and she can, easily, by revealing or be involved in revealing who is LW. See the whole KatexEdwina, how she handled the Ton there.

Anyway, just wanted to say something because some people have dreamed a LW that doesn't exist at all. Created on their own minds a boogeyman that wasn't simply reporting the truth with witty opinions but fabricating stories and lies to ruin lives, and that's simply not true. Never happened. There was never a lie created there. Only the truth, even about herself, as Pen was often damaged by her column.

[acutecoral]

Transcript for Quackity's recent stream

[Quackity start talking around 1:03 in, but before he speaks you can hear him breathe and sniffle a little]

Quackity: Hello everyone, uh…uh, I'm just waiting for enough people to get here. This is a very important stream. So I'm just going to wait a little bit.

Quackity: Um…[sharp intake of breath] Hello! I hope everyone is having a good night. I'm doing an urgent stream. Only to keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Quackity: I wanna apologise for this scuffed stream. I'm not on any of my set-ups right now, I wasn't expecting to stream right now so I don't even have a camera. But I wanna to let everyone know, that I've been out and I'm catching up on a lot of matters right now…

Quackity: Including a statement, that was just now, made without my approval.

Quackity: I've been notified, about an ongoing situation regarding Quackity Studios and I want to address it. Please bear with me as I'm barely catching up on a lot of these matters.

[He sniffles again]

Quackity: One gathering is that volunteers for Quackity Studios: are not being paid and are being given too many hours of activities.

Quackity: I wanna let everyone know that I was aware of a voluntary position, and I was under the assumption that there was a process volunteers would go through, to integrate themselves to the team with a fully paying job. What I was not aware of, is to what extent and conditions were being required from the volunteers.

Quackity: And I wanna thank everyone who brought this to my attention, because it is very clear to me that I need a much deeper involvement in the administrative part of my team. Something I have not been very involved with recently.

Quackity: I'm gonna perform a deep investigation, personally, on this matter as to see exactly what's happening. But one thing is very clear to me.

Quackity: There are going to be very drastic changes in QSMP moving forward. From the administrative perspective, and from the creative perspective as well.

Quackity: My responsibility relies on knowing what is happening in the project I am running. And for not being more involved? I want to deeply apologise. This should have never happened, and I am extremely disappointed.

Quackity: From here on out, I wanna make one thing clear: Everybody involved in Quackity Studios will be paid. And if at any point my own funds are not sufficient enough to pay workers or maintain the project? Then the QSMP cannot continue and it will close down. That's how committed I am to this project.

Quackity: So I wanted to make that extremely, extremely clear as to where I stand on this.

[Quackity in the next line sounds choked up]

Quackity: And this…n-next topic is very difficult for me to process, and it's an extremely sensitive thing, and I was waiting for the correct time for me but…that can wait, no longer. And I need to let everyone know that Wilbur is no longer a part of the QSMP.

Quackity: Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their patience. This…year…has been very turbulent…for me. And I'm going to be very open; it's been one of the saddest years of my life.

Quackity: I'm trying to move forward and give everyone the best version of myself, and I'm very, very sorry if I've disappointed you.

Quackity: But…nonetheless, I gotta keep moving forward and I'm gonna keep working hard and I'm going to do what's right. And I wanna make this very clear.

Quackity: So thank you everyone. And um, yeah, I hope everyone has a good night. Thank you.

[the-orange-solace]

When I was a child, I watched an episode of Criminal Minds where a man had a split personality. A woman who killed other women who threatened the man she formed to protect. I remember her sitting in the dark on a couch, a cigarette in hand beside a lamp, as she spoke to an Agent about why she had to kill them, that it was to protect him. It was her entire purpose for existing.

As a child, I used to pace empty halls in the middle of the night and lay in bed, repeating in my mind that I would be the only being in my body. I will not break into multiple people. I will be in control. I have to be because, at the time, I believed I could break into those monstrous plurals you see on TV. The ones that killed their family after years of neglect, abuse, and wrongdoing. The ones you should be afraid of ever becoming, no matter who you are or your situation.

So I became terrified.

And yet, nearly every night, I'd look up at the sky or the ceiling and beg for something to change—to not be alone. I was stuck pretending I was a different character, a type of escapism that sometimes got out of hand, lost in an identity that wasn't my own. Looking up and imagining being taken away, every character I adored was by my side, caring for me in return. I had to keep going, be them, and exist in a world with them.

I'd made up stories, different realities, and places in my mind to escape to, as well as explanations for things my underdeveloped brain couldn't comprehend in the place I found myself within. I clung to concepts, characters, and situations that reflected my own, and soon, I no longer felt alone—not with all the escapism I conjured up, not with the different identities to help me face what was happening.

But I was in control. I was one being. No matter what. I had to be a single being because that was good. I had to be good.

I would never hurt anyone, and being many meant being bad. I couldn't be bad.

When I was a teenager, I started researching and getting involved in minority and disabled spaces. I loved being informed, the stories, the many perspectives, and the complexity of humanity. So it was no surprise when I shared a plural headcanon with a friend, and they felt safe coming out to me. They were many. They took my hand and guided me through a community I was fascinated with and wanted to aid and represent like so many others.

I spent years learning, staying silent as others spoke, just listening to everything I could. But then, one day, like so many others, I spoke through a different facet, a different identity I had created as a child. The many faces of me represented things I could not be, I could not hold, nor could I handle. I was struggling; some of me wanted to lash out. So she did. She lashed out.

As always, I was faced with kindness, listening ears, and aid that then pushed me more to the surface from drowning. But I never left; just another part of me was lost, right? Of course. People are complex. I deal with my emotions in a complex way. Of course.

My plurally disabled friend watched as I became more comfortable speaking through the identities I had, whether they were facets of myself or characters that helped me. Soon enough, the continuous "role-play" and "emotional processing" developed into normal conversation, a comfort, a relief.

They kindly approached me and asked if I was a system, too. They had never met anyone who spoke to themselves like I do, definitely not any singlets. None of our other friends did, in person or not, not even people in our families. It was just us.

The fear from my childhood arose. I couldn't be multiple; I couldn't be more than one. It was bad. But hadn't I learned about Plurality? All its ups and downs? Its complexities and nuances? I accepted it wholeheartedly; I learned and evolved from the demonized perception I was given as a child. So, why was it still bad?

Because I must be lying; I must be a fake, a poser. It was the only reason, wasn't it? I had seen so many conversations and arguments about fakes, those who wished to be special. Had I somehow become the harm they spoke of? How could I do this to a community I swore to listen to and fight for?

I obsessed over it, forcing the panic, dissociation, habit, and ease of speaking in multiple identities and beings of myself away. I buried it as deep as I could for the betterment of everyone else. The community didn't deserve such harm, and I wouldn't bring it to their doorstep if I claimed it to be something I'm not.

The loathing became so present it formed into tics that caused aches and disruptions in my life. Multiple stressors--along with an identity crisis--will do that to someone. So my shoulder and neck muscles ached from shrugging, flexing, and all the repetitive movements I couldn't stop without crying from the suppression. So I didn't. I let it disrupt and hurt.

Then, one day, someone, some random, unknown system to me out in the world, spoke about how it didn't matter what was real or not; it didn't hurt anyone. Plurality and the belief of it didn't hurt anyone. It hurt no one to discover themselves, to test the waters, to simply pry into yourself and learn. There was no shame in figuring yourself, or yourselves, out. There was no right or wrong, nothing to be ashamed of or fearful of. Just another part of living.

So I did. I poked and prodded. I gave my parts names, spoke to them in the middle of the night, asked questions, got to know them, and learned we couldn't talk through words at first but could emotions and sensations. I realized I couldn't find where my Plurality started or where it ended, that we—oh god, we—the idea was so surreal but...comforting—were so combined, living without specific individuality outside of me that there was no separation in sight. Not that I could figure out. For so long, I believed everything was just me. Only me.

But now it was someone else, too. These things that made no sense, these things that felt out of place or special, unique, and ever-changing could be someone else.

Someone else.

The more I reflected, learned, applied, and prodded, the more things made sense. Until one day, I looked at my friends, held my breath, and spoke. Stated that it like it was a sin for me of all people to say.

I was plural.

No one blinked an eye. No one questioned it outside of boundaries and clarification. It wasn't surprising that their childhood friend was many. How surprising could it be when they used so many different names for different parts of themselves to express hard things?

It was astonishing.

And here we are, years and years later, grown and still learning, living, fighting, but more in touch with ourselves than ever before with so many more sys friends and aquatints. More experiences, a better understanding.

It's not shameful to learn, apply, and reflect. You take nothing from anyone but your time and open-minded exploration of the world and yourself(ves). There is no evil in being human, living life, phase or not. There is nothing wrong with you, any of you, for existing or living. You just are. I embrace you, I embrace us, and I embrace everything that comes with a life of many.

So, if you're struggling, just know you're not alone outside the body. We know, and so do many others. It's going to be okay; you'll find yourself in time. Don't rush it. There will always be time.

[ohisms]

↪ 𝐹𝐼𝐿𝐿𝑂𝑅𝑌 ⅋ 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of sentence starters from season one of syfy's the magicians . adjust phrasing as necessary . this prompt will be updated as time goes on . )

it's always something with you , isn't it ? it's always an emergency .

look , this is your responsibility .

wow , nice trick . i'm sure you're a hit at parties .

so ... you think you're ready .

i called you . all weekend . where were you ?

okay , we have got to pull you together .

you can't run away hard enough , can you ?

i know where you were all weekend .

life is raw , everybody medicates .

i love you . call me , okay ?

am i hallucinating ?

come on , or you'll miss it .

can i start over ? please .

i'm going to make sure you don't remember a thing .

playing with time is such difficult magic .

don't bother trying to compare yourself .

it's good to be aware the world is blatantly unfair .

it's my fault that they said that .

if you think my family is some sort of advantage , you've been misinformed .

maybe i wouldn't let myself forget .

that was before i knew there was something else .

it's really okay if this is not your thing .

you're hurting yourself , & you're not okay .

i just needed to see if i was right .

we've been watching you for quite a while now .

hello ? do you need help ?

you feel right because you're starting towards your destiny .

for some reason , you're involved . so be involved .

look , hold that thought , okay ?

i'm obviously coming with you .

there's no such thing as safe magic .

what is this place exactly , besides a health hazard ?

you ask a lot of questions .

jesus , you didn't tell me you were dangerous .

it's a little bit bigger than messing up .

there's a bad story every few years around here .

can you just help me live with myself ?

i'm gonna tell you something deep & dark & personal now .

i'm trying to tell you , you are not alone here .

i don't know . i wanna be your friend , i guess .

you should hate me right now .

the last thing i wanted to do growing up was read fantasy .

let's just say life wasn't exactly non-stop fun growing up .

if you're guilty , i'm guilty .

come do something stupid with me before you go .

okay , you know what ? i'm not interested in your personal issues .

this isn't just some lark to me , just so you know .

i mean seriously , what do they expect , you know ?

look , you can't run away from you .

there's nothing i can do in this moment to stop the comet from crashing into the earth , is there ?

i keep trying to tell myself that this is somehow better .

you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

you can't help , & i can't help you .

what the hell was that , you maniac ?

why would you ever trust anyone ?

i'm willing to teach the right people what i know . & i know a lot .

you're lucky i can fix this .

hey , have you heard of karma ? sometimes it's instant .

i'm generous with you , considering .

get me everything on this list . this week .

why even ask , if you'll just forget it again ?

that's not a real answer .

you're a much better liar than i expected you to be .

do you think you have a destiny ?

there is no destiny . no born heroes .

you can either step up to it or not , that's up to you .

this is your problem , that you should solve !

[anaargent]

THE BOY IS MINE

Five hargreeves X reader

The reader is Five's long-time partner, tired of waiting for his return, she decide to investigate his whereabouts. (seriously thinking about writing something for our daddy Diego)

- That's enough – I jump off the decaying sofa at Luther's house – you guys stay here and look for Viktor, I'll go after five and lila. - Wasn't the plan for everyone to stay together until they got back here? - Allison murmurs boredly - No, no, we spread out and everyone looks in a different place, right? -Klaus chimes in, only hearing half of the dialogue as he plays with the shiny Christmas tree in front of him.

-Meanwhile, we should standing there admiring Luther's windows? - I gesture with my hands - Hey! They are Victorian models! - Luther exclaims offended, holding the new frames.

-Sorry Luther, they are beautiful honey, they just need some adjustments in the rest of the house – I turn to the giant man in front of him with a loving smile – plan B, I will find them and let them know that the holidays are coming, Let me know when someone find the other two. I wave to everyone already leaving the room, hearing some protests about "following the original plan and Luther questioning Allison if the new frames were good"

.

.

Just like your sister Lila, I had the ability to copy powers. It came in handy when the last person you touched was Five, on a rare occasion he let you fix his messy hair, a lame excuse to be affectionate with the grumpy old man. Despite trying, a laugh escapes my lips, remembering the boy's shocked expression at the kind gesture.

-I'll find them - I mutter more to myself as I get off at yet another station on the strange subway, writing down in the small diary in my pocket, a gift from Five, a bit tacky but very useful in the current situation - a stain that looks like a state - I mumble looking at the ceiling - wires ripped out, someone came by here - trying not to create expectations and hopes too high to be crushed after all the frustrations of not finding five and lila, I swallow dry and walk towards the exit.

A beautiful uninhabited field waited outside the station, it looked unkempt, even deserted. Ready to cross off another stop on the agenda, I suddenly stop when I see movement in the distance, it was him. With a more tired and ragged appearance, but it was my five. With longer hair than usual, an old backpack on his shoulder, I couldn't believe I had finally found him.

I take a step away from the hiding place, raising my hand with a huge smile on my lips, relief flooding my body, finally being able to relax after months of searching.

You took too long outside - Lila appeared, involving Five with a smile. That was good, they finally got along and became friends - I miss u - so she kisses him.

My feet were planted on the ground, gravity holding me in that place, in slow motion as I watched my sister, the person I trust most, kiss five, the person I loved most. My hand fell to my side, finally returning to the moment to step back into the darkness, watching as Five tenderly returned the affection and led her inside the small green house.

.

When it finally got dark I left the forest, heading towards the house, I did a space jump and was in the kitchen of the place. everything was very tidy, a small strawberry garden, candles, books. Were the bastards having a teenage romance? I stop myself, taking a deep breath - follow the plan y/n, follow the damn plan.

That was the initial idea, but then here you were, on top of Five's limp and unconscious body, ready to attack him. You probably forgot, amid the bitterness of betrayal, that Five also worked for the commission. Then he was wide awake, as far as possible, his beautiful eyes alarmed and his hands holding his.

Y/N? Is that really you? - he asked dazedly, his eyes still cloudy with sleep, his voice hoarse and low. Unable to bear his puppy eyes, I start to swing in an attempt to get out of his grip, throwing punches in all directions with unbridled rage. - Are you with my sister? - you scream, still punching your stomach, your vision blurred by the tears that threatened to fall.

what? babe, no - five finally manages to stop his attack, breathing hard - let me explain - he starts sitting with you on his lap - explain to me that you are fucking my sister? that she is married to your brother? -his voice sounded bitter and defensive-all that talk about taking it easy was nonsense-you try to get rid of him to leave.

-it's been seven years - five starts with a broken voice, his eyes searching yours in search of something - I thought I would never go again see you y/n - he pauses, looking for words - I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please don't go, hate me, hit me. But don't disappear again darling, I was going crazy, all of us.

-you betrayed me five - your voice sounded more broken than you wanted him to see, how everything affected you more than you would like to admit - I know my love, I don't deserve you, but you are all I have, all I want. Lila and I were torn apart, we spent years looking for a way to get back together, it ruined us. It was survival, a way to not go crazy here alone.

You closed your eyes tightly, taking a deep breath to process everything. Five and Lila lived here for seven years, and somehow created a relationship, you still felt betrayed, the memory of how the two of you were together earlier haunting you like a ghost,his arms wrapped around her, like he did with you. Then you look at Five, his clear eyes chasing you like a sun, they looked so sad and melancholic, waiting for salvation.

You smile sadly, raising your hand to his long hair, carefully combing the unruly strands. Five closes his eyes, visibly relaxing under your touch - I dreamed every night that you were here - he comments in a low voice, unsure - that you found me and then you left again, as if you had never come, then I woke up and you not here.

-im here - you speak softly, not wanting to break the fragile moment you shared, your eyes dropped to your lips, jealousy consuming you every moment. Then five placed his hand on his face, with devotion and fear, fear that everything was just another lived and cruel dream, her lips just touched his, they were dry and trembling. It was a soft kiss, afraid that a sudden movement would break it. Your hands traveled to his shoulders as a warm bubble enveloped them.Then the memory of the kiss between him and Lila appeared in your mind, taking the best of you. Your hands became rough for a moment, pulling Five's hair with more force than necessary, a kind of punishment for his actions,the poor boy could do nothing but accept the harsh treatment with a slight grunt escaping his lips .

-let's go home my dear, there we will remind you who you belong to.

[calware]

thoughts incoming. something i think a lot of people online don't realize (and something i wish i could've told myself when i was younger) is that trying to enact punishment on someone you dislike who did or said something wrong for the sake of punishment rarely has a positive effect. especially when it involves attempting to publicly shame/humiliate them, such as writing a callout post with the attempt to get everyone "on your side" and to dislike that person as well. this is because, in many cases, these pursuits result in just making the target angry or upset, which at best just makes them upset and at worse reinforces their ideas. if there's someone online you disagree with and you want to try making a real change, you have to ask yourself if what you're doing is actually going to realistically lead to that outcome or if you're just lashing out in anger

i'm not perfect at this either, in fact i've been on both sides in this situation. i know how it feels to be hurt by someone when you didn't deserve it, so you want that person to hurt too, you want other people to dislike them as much as you do. i really, really get it. i also know what it's like to be cyberbullied online, back when i was a very vocal hater who had a lot of annoyingly bad takes about homestuck and said a lot of things that were at best stupid and at worse parasocial. this, understandably, annoyed a bunch of people, but then some of them decided i should get sent anon hate about it daily. all this did was a) make me feel bad and b) reinforced the idea that i wasn't doing anything wrong, because the people who disagreed with me were also sending me anon hate, so clearly they were in the wrong

i think there are moments where "calling someone out" is helpful, like if someone is running a scam, or if someone is using their platform to groom minors. this is because calling that person out actually helps to prevent them from hurting more people. however, most of the callout posts i've seen on here don't result in any positive effect and usually boil down to "PSA I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW TUMBLRGUY634 WAS MEAN TO ME!!!!! SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!", causing a bunch of outrage within that person's circle before fizzling out a while later with no real impact

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to repay a small debt through a mutual third party?

This happened a long time ago, but I sometimes remember it and still think 'wtf' so I wanted to see if I was actually TA here.

At the time, my friend "B" was good friends with both myself and "C." B really wanted us to all hang out together, I'd never met C. After a while we finally did hang out once, and C insisted on doing something out of my budget. He also insisted that he would loan me the $20 and I could just pay him back later. I didn't want to accept at first because I wasn't sure when I would see him again to repay him, but he told me I was being a buzzkill and to just accept, so I did.

Several months went by and I indeed never saw C again, but a situation arose where I helped B out by giving her a place to crash for a while, and when she left she really wanted to repay me somehow but said she could only afford $20 at that time. I told her not to worry about it but she wouldn't let it go, so I said that if it was that important to her to pay me back, she could just forward that $20 on to C since she saw him frequently and we'd all be even.

A few days later C used her phone to start blowing me up with texts about how I was the absolute biggest asshole for trying to "force B to pay my debts" and "taking advantage of her," that I was a "coward" for not doing it in person, that I was "irresponsible" and a "loser" and a "leech," told me B actually hated my guts and how they both loved to make fun of me together, etc etc. I tried to explain but he wouldn't stop, so I just blocked her number.

A few more days later, B showed up at my house crying, saying she didn't agree with anything he said and that she didn't want to lose me, that she and C had gotten into some harder stuff that "changed him into an asshole" and to "not take it personally, he's really a nice guy," etc, but avoided directly answering when I asked why she let him use her phone to harass me about it, or if she agreed that I should have just taken her money and then tried to meet him somewhere to pass it on to him myself even though she saw him almost every day. I told her I was done with the drama and didn't want to be involved with whatever they had going on. Never saw her again.

Was I the asshole to try to repay $20 through a mutual friend?

What are these acronyms?

[sophie-frm-mars]

Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.

I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.

A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.

You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.

I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.

Anyways, best wishes. Take care.

Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.

Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.

For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again

https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531

I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.

As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.

(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)

I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.

I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.

[chaosqueery]

I am just gonna go ahead and say that I'm not playing Double Exposure. I don't really care if people say I'll be missing out or if I sound juvenile. It pisses me off that they say they are trying to honor both endings when a lot of us sacrificed an entire town so another queer character wasn't thrown away and Pricefield could be together.

Listen, I'm not gonna spend a crap ton of money to play something that mischaracterizes Chloe so bad. I understand why they wanted to focus on Max's story outside of Chloe, but they didn't have to do it the way they did. Yes, Chloe was a complicated character. She was bratty, irresponsible, and explosive. She was also sensitive, loving, and insanely loyal. You sit and think about all the stuff she did to stick by both Max and Rachel, and the idea she would just leave Max is ridiculous. Especially since it had to do with what happened in Arcadia Bay. You really expect me to believe she was able to mend fences with David, but being around Max was too hard for her? No matter what guilt she felt over everything, Max felt it too, probably even more so. The only person who could truly understand what she was going through was Max and vice versa. They knew that when they held hands at the lighthouse as they watched Arcadia Bay be destroyed. Then Chloe said "I'll always be with you".

I'm not saying that I expected Chloe to be attached to Max's hip. She didn't even have to actually show up, in person, in the game. They could have honestly just shown her through text chains, something that's easy to take out if you went the Bay route. Max and Chloe could have been having a long-distance relationship. It's even a small thing that could show how they've grown up and how they deal with long-distance relationships now that they're adults (as opposed to how they handled the friendship when Max was in Seattle). And since they couldn't have Chloe involved in the main plot, maybe Max just kept her in the dark about it. Chloe could have found something to do for a living that makes her happy, and Max doesn't want her to worry while she's away.

That's all they had to do. It didn't have to be that, exactly, but it didn't take any time to think up. The developers of Double Exposure didn't even try to think up a satisfying continuation for the people who chose the Bae ending. At this point, it's starting to feel like a punishment for making the "wrong" choice. Chloe couldn't accept Max's choice to save her, and these writers (not the original writers) can't seem to accept our choice to save her either. But I will not apologize for it. I've proudly had Bae over Bay in my bio for years now. I refuse to consider Chloe Price as expendable.

So I am just gonna stick to the comics. That's got the star-crossed sapphic love so powerful it becomes a force of nature vibe I'm looking for. I should probably just be happy I saved myself 50 bucks.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam. I finally bit the bullet and decided to get an evaluation for adhd. (yay!) My test is scheduled in a couple weeks, but I had an intake appointment a couple days ago and the doctor I saw sent me an MMPI test to do online ahead of time. (boo.)

I hate this thing so much. There’s over 500 questions and she said it would take 45-60 minutes to complete, but I’ve spent that long just waffling over the first 75 questions so far. There are so many generalizations and binary thinking type questions, and the longer I stare at this paralyzed with indecision between two wrong answers, the more I start to feel like they are going to come back with some other kind of neurodivergent label for me.

I was told the in person testing is supposed to take 4-6 hours, but I’m getting worried that it’s going to be much worse than that given the rate I’m currently going at. Do you have any advice for getting through these? I do recall that you’ve previously said to always answer as if you didn’t have your current coping mechanisms in place.

Also, thanks for talking about all this stuff so candidly and informatively. It’s been an inspiration and a big part of why I decided to finally get tested myself. Even if this does end up telling me and I’m different flavor of nd, I’m looking forward to hopefully having a little more insight as to how my mind works.

Hey Anon, apologies this reply wasn't as prompt as it could be! Hopefully it's still posting before your evaluation. Congrats on setting that up, it can be really hard to do.

The personality categorization tests are really dreadful for lots of people, if that helps, but especially for people who are either more literal minded or extremely adaptable, because we all know a lot of behavior depends on context or on comfort level. For what it's worth, the rest of the eval shouldn't be like that. They may put you through The Questionnaire, which is a roughly twenty minute list of questions about behavior, but even then that should be easier because it's asking you mostly to recall actions you've already done.

I would recommend when you have your evaluation, bring up your struggle with the MMPI. Remember that your goal is not to get A Specific Diagnosis, it's to get the correct one, and the more info they have, the more likely that is. Be as honest as you can within the difficult confines of a process that wants to categorize things that are very difficult to measure.

The in person testing will involve much more unambiguous testing -- lots of problem solving, memorizing, clicking buttons when prompted, etc. none of it is hard; some might be stressful but just remember you're there to demonstrate your real skills and abilities. There's no way to pass or fail any of these tests. Think of them as games if that helps. I enjoyed the process as a challenge :)

And good luck! I hope it goes well for you. Bring a snack and a water bottle and if you feel unsure about something remember it's totally okay to ask for clarity. You'll do just fine.

[lili863]

Yes, all yours.

AN: Welp , I am finally writing for Sebastian Sallow. This was fun to write knowing how his personality is.

Warning: MDNI, SMUT, 18+, Enemies to lovers, DARK, DOM! SEB

TW: Slight Dubcon, a little blood involved (literally)

Sebastian Sallow.

The most charming boy I've met, he's witty, fun loving and just such an adorable flirty dork. In fact if I would have asked him to court me if only...he wasn't such an insufferable, arrogant, hard headed human being that I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

He's a walking contradiction to better put it.

Just a week ago we were laughing and making our way to the library after sneaking out of detention and then in a span of 7 days I found myself firmly entrenched in his shitlist when he figured out I was communicating with a goblin in my investigation about Ranrok and Victor Rookwood.

Since then, it's been an onslaught of cocky remarks, disdainful glances, and thinly-veiled jabs. Oh, the joy of camaraderie among wizards.

I could tolerate all of it, really. After all, navigating the intricate social dynamics of Hogwarts has become something of a specialty of mine. But things took a turn for the worse when he had the audacity to label me as ignorant and then failed to extend even a semblance of an apology.

Initially, I empathized with his frustration and understood his misplaced anger. I made excuses for his behavior, attempting to rationalize his actions. But my patience wore thin faster than I anticipated.

Merlin, if I had known how stubborn he was going to be I would have given up hope of reconciliation a long time ago.

And it all started right after I had convinced myself that perhaps extending the olive branch should fall upon my shoulders.

I found him by the great hall. There he stood among a few of our friends: Natty, Garreth, Ominis, and Amit. A small smile crept onto my lips at the sight, hoping that this apology, however undeserved, would set things right. But just as I neared earshot, his words struck like a dagger.

"Can you believe her? The audacity. She parades around as if she's the font of all knowledge just because she's the apple of every professor's eye when she's barely scratched the surface of our world".

The words hit me like a ton of bricks as I stood there shocked.

"Sebastian, perhaps you're being a tad harsh," Natty interjected, her voice tinged with a hint of reproach. "She's many things, but ignorant isn't one of them."

Nods of agreement rippled through the small gathering, Ominis adding his voice with a weary sigh. "I'm inclined to agree. You're letting your temper get the best of you."

Sebastian's sneer sliced through the tension like a blade. "Of course you would agree, Ominis," he retorted, the bitterness palpable in his tone.

It dawned on me then that this matter held more significance for him than I had realized. I knew he was angry with me, but to this extent?

"Seems she's got all of you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't it?" he said, his gaze flicking between them with contempt.

"That's enough," I interjected sharply, drawing all eyes to me, including Sebastian's.

"You know, I would have taken your words more seriously if you had the guts to say them to my face," I challenged, closing the distance between us with purpose.

Sebastian turned to face me fully, his eyes zeroing in on mine. His deep frown transformed to a mocking smile playing on his lips. "Well, here I am, aren't I? Besides, your back is just as good a place as any for such heartfelt conversations, considering that's all I was faced with the last time."

I pressed my lips together, determined not to let his cutting words pierce through my resolve, though I could feel their sting like a sharp slap across the face. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed the group behind us watching with wide eyes.

Damn it. The last thing I needed was to turn this into a spectacle, but Sebastian was making it impossible to keep a level head.

"Funny, because I was about to say the same. Grow up, Sallow. I could handle you being a jerk any day, but immature as well?" I lowered my voice, drawing closer so our conversation couldn't be overheard. "We both know that everything I'm doing is for the greater good, including your sister."

That smile disappeared as quickly as it came, as a shadow crept over his features.

Slowly, deliberately, he closed the space between us, each step a calculated move. Startled at his demeanor I started backing up otherwise I was sure our bodies would've collided.

"Don't you dare pretend you're doing this for the good of everyone, especially my sister, when you're the one cozying up to a damn goblin."

Backed against the wall, I felt the weight of his presence looming over me, and it was precisely that moment I realized how much of a threat he could have been if he wasn't someone I knew.

He disregarded the stares of onlookers, his focus solely on me as if nothing else existed in the world.

I never saw this look on him. So scary. And so unforgiving.

My nostrils flared, and I clenched my jaw to tyring to ignore everyone gathering around us "But I am. And whether you like it or not, Lodgok is not the same. I understood your anger at first, truly, but enough is enough" My voice now ringing with authority I continued "Now back off".

He didn't move a muscle. I swear if looks could kill, I'd be 6 feet beneath the dirt right now.

With a glare, I pushed off the wall when his hand suddenly planted firmly against the wall besides my head, stopping me effectively.

His eyes darker then before trailed over my face and down to my lips "You know"... I shivered at the low timbre of it.

" For a so called prodigy you sure do run away a lot. Especially when your one marching in here telling me to man up".

My resolve wavered for a moment, but I steadied myself, meeting his gaze head-on. "Careful, Sallow," I warned, my voice laced with defiance. "Just because I choose my battles doesn't mean I'm afraid to fight."

Sebastian's lips curled into a menacing grin, a small scoff escaping his lips.

Amidst the murmurs of the gathering crowd, I turned my gaze towards them, trying to ignore his taunts.

"Well, while you're busy choosing your battles, you're losing the ones that matter"

Damn it, why is everyone here—suddenly, a calloused hand gripped my jaw, forcefully turning it back to face him.

"With me."

I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart pounding in my chest, eyes trailing back and forth between his.

He really did have a way of making every encounter feel like a fight for dominance and now I knew I was trapped. "Back off Sallow, now".

"No."

"I said back off"! With a hard shove I pushed him away from me, earning gasps and exclaims from the crowd gathering around us, all excited to see what was going on.

A sinister chuckle escaped his lips, his head thrown back in complete amusement, while I stood there, flushed with embarrassment. Whether it was from the fact that he barely moved an inch or from the proximity of his presence, I couldn't tell. He on the other hand reveled in the attention, knowing full well that I despised being the center of such spectacle.

But I wasn't about to let him see me falter. "You want a battle? Fine. Since you're so desperate to get on my bad side"!

A mocking nod was all he could offer at my not so threatening threat "Bad side, huh? And what does that entail?"

"Mopping the floor with your arse in the courtyard, for all to see. Perhaps then I can show you just how well being a teacher's pet pays off." I spat.

"Well, let me tell you what my bad side entails, since you're already on it."

I huffed, a sarcastic smile playing on my lips as I shifted my weight, a hand on my hip. "Do enlighten me."

As tension crackled between us, Sebastian's breaths came slow and measured, the controlled rhythm of his chest betraying the intensity of his emotions as he stood before me.

"When I emerge victorious from this duel," he whispered, his voice dripping with controlled menace, "You won't forget it. I'll ensure it. And it won't just end there. I'll make your life a living hell, and believe me, darling, it won't be a pleasant experience."

My heart dropped, and my hands fell to my sides as I looked up at him in shock. "Sebastian..."

Maybe it was just my imagination, but a flicker of something passed by his face. His gaze softened, but his face remained expressionless.

"Do you really think you can just come into my life and pretend to care about everything? To care about my sister and then just dump it back in my face, as if all the things we went through together meant nothing?"

I shook my head, my eyes wide as saucers, but before the words could come out of my mouth, he beat me to it. "You'll regret it." Cedarwood and pine filled my senses as he stepped closer. "I'll make sure of it."

Speechless. That was what I was. Turning back around, he faced our group of friends, all of whom were confused, and started walking back towards them.

"Tomorrow after classes, tell Lucas I'll be there at 5," he said. He really was going to duel me.

"Oh, and..." He turned back around, and the smirk on his face irked me. "Bring plenty of Wiggenwald, darling." My stomach churned, and I felt nauseous. I wasn't afraid to duel him, but now, I am not so sure. This was a much bigger deal to him then I thought it would be. And considering this involved his sister... maybe I underestimated the weight of it all.

And that smile on his face... the normalcy after that terrifying expression... it was as unsettling as it was unexpected. And I was going to have to face the full wrath of it tomorrow...

______________________

"Bombarda"!

Sparks flew as spells clashed in midair, casting dazzling lights and shadows across the courtyard. I dodged and weaved, my movements being fluid and controlled, but his relentless barrage of spells were uncannily precise.

There he stood, a calm look to his face as his spells were coming faster and more ferocious with each passing moment.

It's come to my attention as soon as this duel started that I might be royally screwed. Along with the insomnia I had suffered last night and eating next to nothing in the last 36 hours I was in a bad shape.

But what really threw me off was that he had dramatically improved from the last time I dueled him.

In fact he was arguably one of the best duelers in this school at the moment. I am, ashamed to say, it was more challenging with him then anyone I've encountered in my missions, including the trials.

Though in my trials I was fighting knights, not a actual human being so, I cant just use my ancient magic to spear a lighting through his head.

With gritted teeth, I unleashed a wave of fiery infernos, the flames dancing and twisting towards Sebastian with menacing intent. The crowd Oohs and aahs only got louder and more excited at my display of magic.

Too bad it only lasted about 3 seocnds before he countered with a powerful Shield Charm, the flames dissipating against the barrier with a hiss.

A surge of panic washed over me as he unleashed a dark hex, the ancient magic stirring within me in response. With a desperate effort, I summoned a powerful shield to deflect the attack.

As the spell collided with my shield, I felt the impact reverberate through my entire being, threatening to shatter my resolve. I staggered, barely managing to stay on my feet, disbelief etched into every line of my face.

Sebastian stood there, his lips slightly curling at my reaction.

He knew.

That would have been impossible to counter if it hadn't been for my ancient magic.

I heaved for breath, my chest tight with apprehension as I watched the young slytherin, seeing the powerful dark aura radiate off of him like smoke.

Shit...

He just flung a dark hex at me as if the very notion of it being forbidden never crossed his mind.

He stepped close enough for me to hear him say "Did you ever learn that while being a teacher pet"?

I growled, gripping my wand tight. I did not go through trials involving deadly knights, goblins and trolls to lose to an egotisical boy.

"Is this really how you wanna play Sallow"? I sneered.

Sebastian predatory eyes swept over me as I ignored the tightening feeling in my stomach. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips in anticipation.

"You know exactly how I play fifth year". He purred.

With a swift incantation, I conjured a dazzling array of illusions, each one more intricate than the last.

To my utter joy Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise as he struggled to discern the real me from the phantoms that surrounded him.

But he was quick to recover, his own spells flying fast and furious as he sought to break through my defenses. Bolts of lightning crackled through the air, sending shockwaves rippling across the courtyard as our magic clashed in a spectacular display of power.

The crowd's cheers and gasps melded into a deafening cacophony, but amidst the chaos, I could only focus on the piercing ringing in my ears. I gritted my teeth, my eyes narrowing as I prepared to unleash my most powerful spell yet. With a flick of my wand and a whispered incantation, I summoned a whirlwind of energy that engulfed Sebastian and everyone else in a blinding vortex of light.

Everyone gasped covering their eyes and as the brilliance faded, I braced myself for the next onslaught, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next

Suddenly I yelp, feeling the tip of a cold wand pressed to my neck and a warm yet menacing presence press against my back.

To my utter horror, Sebastian stood behind me out of nowhere, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me perfectly still.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, unleashing a wave of blood to my core. It's almost laughable, the way fear grips me now, rendering me hesitant to face him. I just know what hes going to look like, and I am not sure I could take it.

I try to cast something as his lips brush against my ear, and he whispers "Expelliarmus".

My wand flies out of my hand instantly, bouncing on the ground before rolling away as the crowd watched in stunned silence.

Beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as I watched my wand disappear into the distance. And then it hits me.

Fuck.

How could I forget.

I taught him how to apparate last week...

_____________________

"Sebastian, please," I pleaded, struggling to keep pace with his brisk stride. Every two steps felt like a hurdle, but his iron grip on my arm prevented me from face-planting afterward.

"You've won, alright," I conceded, feeling defeated.

With a forceful tug, he yanked me forward and pressed me against the wall, eliciting a grunt from me.

"And yet, you're still defending a goblin," venom dripped from his words, saturating the air with its malevolence.

I hadn't known he was capable of such intense hatred. Part of it, I suspected, had something to do with his dalliance in the dark arts.

Melting into the wall did nothing as Sebastian stepped in to close the distance.

"He's provided more information than any other creature I've encountered, Sebastian. He's the reason I can move forward in this investigation." I pleaded.

"Yeah, and how do you know it's not all a lie?" he retorted sharply.

"You're acting as if no one else, or any other creature, hasn't lied to me before. How is it any different if a goblin does?" I shot back, trying to maintain my composure.

"You know why!" he exploded, pushing against me, his frustration palpable.

Ragged breaths escaped me as I struggled to remain steady. His hard abdomen was smashed against mine with no disregard for personal space. I was caged.

"I understand your anger, Seb. But only to an extent. Not all goblins are bad, just like not all humans are good. Victor Rookwood is scum, yet there are trusted relationships with all kinds of creatures and humans."

With a scoff like laugh, his fingers began to trace its way down my cheek, "You're adorable, living in your little fantasy world. But reality is much harsher than your dreams."

I let out frustrated grunt but before I could respond I felt his wand press against the side of the my lower thigh. "Goodness know mine is hell, your precious goblins saw to that when they decided my sister should be 'seen and not heard'"

With a hitched breath I felt him raise his wand, sliding the smooth wood closer and closer to core.

Oh.my.goodness.

It was like my brain shut down as I realized what was happening.

I squeezed my eyes trying to concentrate on the conversation, a very important conversation.

"I am sorry Sebastian. I-I really am, I am most definitely not defending all goblins here, especially the ones who cursed Anne-"

"Oh yes you are. You even fought me for it". A cruel grin spread across his lips.

I started to step on my tippy toes instinctively to avoid the thin wood making it way under my skirt.

"You'll never understand will you"? His unsettling voice rattled me and thats when a tinge of fear seeped into my brain. This was not the Sebastian I knew.

"Seb..." My voice tremebled.

The tip of his wand disappeared under my skirt until I jumped with gasp when the tip pressed firmly on my core.

"You betrayed me".

I gasped, arching back, my hands shooting straight for his in an attempt to stop him as he began to move the wand up my clothed slit.

"I-I didn't-"

Through quick glances, I could see him observing my reactions without a hint of shame. I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering at the sensation as the tip of his wand halted atop my clit before he started twirling it.

Despite my tightening grip on his hand, he remained unmoved. All I could do was throw my head back with a cry, feeling a tight knot forming in my stomach

"Seb s-stop" I whimpered.

"Are you sure you want me too"? His cocky tone showed now remorse as he watched me fall apart.

"Tell me the truth," his lips pressed on my to my cheek. "You wanted this from the day you met me didn't you"?

"W-what? NO-"

"Thats why you did what you did. Because pissing me off was the only way to get my attention" He chuckled. But it was hardly humorous.

I wanted to slap him, but my legs were shaking, my own wetness beginning to drip down my thighs.

His wand dropped instantly, rolling away from us. Panting, I thought maybe this was the end of it until his hand dove beneath my skirt, forcibly making its way down my underwear.

Gasping, I clutched his collar for dear life, feeling his calloused hand slide across my slit, rubbing my soaking cunt. As if my dignity wasn't hanging by a thread, my hips started to roll on their own, meeting his fingers.

"Ahhgh-Seb"!

Thats when his other hand swung around to grab to my ass and squeezed a handful of it. Hard. "Look at this"

I faced him finally. A smug grin draped over his face.

"You act all righteous but in the back of your mind all you wanted was a good fuck"

Suddenly, all sensations within my body halted. Without a second thought, my hand connected with his cheek, the sound of a slap reverberating through the dark hall.

His cheek swung the other way as he backed off slightly. I stood there, breathing hard, eyes wide, and clenching my thighs. If he thought I would just stand there and endure his vulgarity, he had another thing coming.

A small bruise formed at the corner of his lip, where a hint of blood emerged. However, what made me tense up, gripping the wall behind me, was his gaze slowly returning to mine—dark and hungry—as his tongue darted out to lick his lips over the bruise with a smirk

Clenching my jaw, I gritted, "You're a bastard."

Then I see the glint in his eyes

He charges towards me, "Well, if I'm a bastard, then you're my slut."

His lips crashed onto mine, pinning me against the wall. I groaned, attempting to navigate the kiss, but I couldn't keep up. His lips switched angles every few seconds, exploring every inch of me in a frenzy. His chest pressed against mine, his hands diving under my thighs, pushing me further into the wall as he devoured me.

I couldn't push him away, even if my life depended on it—which now it definitely did as I struggled to breathe. With no choice, I pulled my head back, opening my mouth to breathe, but he shoved his tongue in.

I whimpered breathing him in as forcifully as he made me. It was dizzying it, if he didn;t keep me upright I was sure I was going to fall from lack of oxygen. His finger went back to my gushing core as he slipped a finger in, pumping it rapidly. I pulled back gripping his jaw with a moan, barely able to stand right as he finger me harshly

Sebastian lips moved down to my neck pressing searing kisses "Your so wet baby" He murmered against my skin.

Then he brought his head up, pupil exploded with lust. I was sure I looked the same too hazy from the pleasure he giving me.

"Give me a taste huh"?

Nothing was registering in my mind. "Wha-"

Before I could finish, he finger, drove out of me with an audible pop before he yanked my panties down.

He fell to his knees, and without hesitation, his head disappeared under my skirt. Then the most startling sound escaped my mouth as I felt his warm tongue envelop my cunt, sucking and licking with desperation. No teasing, no foreplay, just an explosion of sensation.

My hand tangled into his hair as I cried out, hunching over as if he was sucking my energy. It didn't take him more than a second to find my clit as his tongue circled the hardened nub.

His other finger found my cunt, ramming in two fingers this time. The dark hall was filled with slopping sounds and loud squelches; if that didn't send a message to any poor classmate who happened to walk by, then my screams probably did.

Finally, with two more harsh thrusts, I became undone, crashing my weight onto his shoulders, my world spinning. My cries were silent with how intensely the orgasm hit me. Sebastian knew it too when his head popped out from under my skirt, licking the remaining juices off his lips. He pressed a kiss to my inner thigh, his smile, anything but friendly

No. I could tell he wasn't done.

My legs finally gave out as I kneeled before him. "Hang on, darling, I'm not through with you," he teased, his tone doing nothing to prepare me as he grabbed my waist and pushed me onto the ground, dirt be damned.

Oh fuck.

I realized I was going to be taken right here, in the middle of this damn hall, and no one was going to stop him. I knew I couldn't. Because hell, I needed him too. He nudged in between my legs, spreading them wide enough for him to see everything.

"You're so fucking pretty," he breathed heavily, his mouth still glistening from earlier. I went completely red.

No, not here. If someone walks in, I'd sooner get eaten by an Acromantula

"Stop, Sebastian! What if-"

A sharp slap to my thigh silenced me instantly before he loomed over me. "You don't want me to stop," he accused, slipping his hands beneath my shirt.

A sob-like cry escaped me as his other hand smoothed over the red mark on my thigh. I hated how good it felt, but what I hated more was that he knew

One last lie. Maybe he'll believe me and I can end this fever dream and not have to deal with the consequences after.

"I do".

Sebastian looked at me, studying my face scrutizing every aspect I tried to keep indifferent when he grins.

"Your cunt certainly doesnt". And he makes a point to show me by smashing his lips on top of mine as I taste myself.

Why is that I am always out of breath whens he kissing me? I breath him in hard.

Everything about him is overwhelming.

As pulls away with my bottom lips between his teeth. He unbuckles his trousers and I dare to look down...

"Sebastian".

His hand immediately grips my jaw bring it up to face him.

"It'll fit. Ill make it fit".

I shake my head, another excuse brewing in my head when he pauses what hes doing and rips open my shirt button flying everywhere.

A shaky sound leaves him he gazes at my breasts "Is that for me".

He was talking about the lacy bra I decided to wear today, and I realized, that today of all day I decided to wear it, because of him.

I gulped "No.."

He smirked, pulling the bra down. "Liar. Keep it up though; I love catching you and seeing the blush all over your face," he said, aligning himself over my entrance and pushing his blunt head in.

I flinched, grabbing his neck and pulling him down. "The least you can do is distract me from the pain..." He smiled, moving a strand of hair out of my face. "I don't think so; perhaps you're forgetting this is punishment," he said, his long, nimble fingers wrapping around the nape of my neck, keeping my head in place.

"Let me see those tears, baby, and don't you dare move your face"

I squeezed his shoulders, a pleading look on my face "Your being cruel".

"Only cause you made me" With that he pushed his length is as I gasp, a strangled noise leaving my throat.

Before I could adjust, he began thrusting into me. The room filled with the sound of his hips slapping against mine. I bounced on the cold stone floor, my breasts moving in tandem. He seized one in his mouth, and I cried out, closing my eyes tightly, feeling utterly helpless in his grasp.

Both of his hands gripped under my thighs and stretched my legs nearly to my stomach as he rammed into me at full speed. My screams and half-moans likely echoed throughout the castle as I flailed on the ground, arching my back, nails scraping against the floor, sweat slickening my skin.

Sebastian groaned as he observed one of my hands reaching for my breast and teasing my hardened nipples

Any pain I felt at the beginning was replaced by sweet utter bliss, it was powerful, and so blinding.

His length reached inside me and pulled out sqelching each time, as if there was a pull stopping him backing all the way out.

He grunted before proceeding to grab my wrists and pin them above my head, putting most of his wright atop of me.

Leaving hot wet kiss all over my neck, he faced me watching my tear stricken face, "Do you want to make this up to me".

I hear those words and immediately nod my head, knowing he would never accpet lodgok no matter what.

"Then promise me your mine. Promise me from now on you'll come to me whenever I summon you whether its the restricted section or in the middle of the damn dark forest. You'll come and do whatever I ask whether thats spreading your leg for me or giving me a taste of that sweet cunt of yours".

I gushed, my eyes nearly rolling at the back of my head with the speed he was going.

"Se-Seb" I whined. "I am-gonna c-cum"

"Promise me sweetheart. Or we stop this. Now".

I am no fool. I knew he what he was asking of me nothing short of being slave to all his desires. But he would never call me his girlfirend. No.

Thats my punishment.

"Seb, I- thats too much"

He clicked in tonghe, an annoyance washing over his features.

"Unless you perfer me to tell other professors what youve been up to. You know, sneaking out in the middle of the night, slaying goblins and ashwinders..."

The cruel grin made it way to his face when my eyes snapped up at him.

"Tell me" He leaned in pressing a soft kiss to my lips and everything I hated about him melted. "Tell me your mine" He murmed against my lips.

As if he knew extactly what to do to get wheat he wanted, his finger dove down to my clit, pressing the nub and rubbing it harshly.

I screamed arching my back as it all hit me. The blinding white pleasure that had me see stars. He wrapped my legs around his waist holding me tight, watching me and convulse against him in pure bliss. As it came over me in waves, I fianlly open my eyes to stare up at his. I cant believe I am saying this.

"Yes.."

His forehead leaned on top of mine a knowing smile on his lips.

"I am all yours..."

[the-sprog]

Thinking about Hakuba just reaching his limit. He realizes that everyone involved in trying to catch KID has been a bad detective, because everyone (him included. ESPECIALLY him) seems to be obsessed with figuring out the "who?" that they've never stopped to question "why?"

When he confronts Inspector Nakamori he gets told that of course they've investigated his reasonings! That good for nothing thief is just greedy/an adrenaline junkie/does it for the thrill/to humiliate the police/etc.

But Hakuba knows this is not the same Kaito KID as when Inspector Nakamori was first assigned to the case.

He's missing something. And he doesn't know what.

It drives him up the wall. He tries figuring it out at the next few heists, but he comes up with nothing. There's no more clues/information to add to those he already had.

So he does the only logical thing.

Trap everyone involved in catching KID in a room that's ventilated as little as possible and release various pallets of truth serum in gas form. Y'know. Like a reasonable person.

Inspector Nakamori, Conan, Hakuba, and Ran (chaperoning) get caught alongside KID and get a lungful dose of truth serum.

Now, before anyone says anything, I know truth serum isn't an actual thing. The way that it's logicked to work is that it lowers inhibitions, loosens your lips basically, and makes you more susceptible to speaking before you can think about it. But of course, it doesn't actually mean people are forced to answer questions or to tell the truth.

But Hakuba is at the end of his wits.

Gonna write a snippet hold on (future Sprog speaking: this ended up being a full-on one shot. So here's the AO3 link if you want to read there)

"Taking a page out of my book, detective-san?" KID asks, the same cocksure smile ever present on his face. It annoys Hakuba. It always has. It's the same expression for every occasion, no matter what KID is saying or doing.

As long as he's not being someone else.

"It's not knockout gas," Hakuba says. He doesn't yet feel like the words are being ripped out of his mouth, but that's to be expected. He's been preparing for this confrontation. "It's truth serum."

From the corner of his vision he sees Edogawa-kun flinch. He would've given it more attention if he had any to spare.

Kaito KID tilts his head and hums. Hakuba can't see it due to the shadow from KID's hat, but he's sure KID is looking him straight in the eyes.

"Saguru-kun?" Inspector Nakamori is the first to break the silence. "If this is about-"

"Why?" It's as much of a response for the inspector as it is a question directed towards the thief himself. "I've never asked myself that question, when it comes to you. A gross oversight, a mistake unbecoming of someone calling himself a detective."

KID's smile doesn't falter, not that Hakuba expected it to. But the fact he hasn't up and left tells him he at least got the thief curious.

"I've been so caught up in trying to unmask you, that I didn't stop to think about why you do it."

"Saguru-kun-"

"I know what you said, Inspector. But your observations are at least 9 years too old. They don't hold up to the current Kaito KID."

Some silence. To his side, Hakuba can faintly hear Edogawa-kun hyperventilating while Mouri-san tries to calm him down to no success. Edogawa-kun wasn't listening to her, too intent on following the conversation.

And then Inspector Nakamori speaks. "You think this is a copycat? That all this time we've been following a fake?"

"I believe we've been following a legacy," Hakuba answers. "Either that, or something happened during his hiatus that made him change his Modus Operandi."

"My, my, detective-san. I'm flattered to know I spend so much time living in your head," KID gets up. "Well, it's been fun to hear your theories, but I think we should cut this visit short, don't you? I believe the curtain call has been way overdue," he says.

"If you leave you have no way of knowing how long the serum will stay in your system," Hakuba stops him. He can't lose Kaito KID's attention now. "And the rest of the gas that's been stagnating in this room will be released to the audience outside these doors."

That seems to do the trick. "Detective-san! I didn't expect you to be the first one to crack!"

"I want to know why you do it. No one else seems to want to focus on that question."

"I did," comes a voice from his right. Edogawa-kun slaps his hands over his mouth as soon as he registers that the words have left his brain faster than he could control.

"Conan-kun?" Mouri-san asks. She's crouched to be eye level with the kid, but Edogawa-kun's eyes are squeezed shut.

"My littlest critic has once again bested everyone else in this room, hasn't he?" KID chuckles. "Bravo, oh great detective!" He claps his hands. "Bravo!"

Hakuba gets his eyes to focus back on the thief. "So Edogawa-kun noticed something we didn't."

"And neglected to share with the class, it seems." KID shakes his head mockingly. "For shame, great detective. For shame. I thought you were all for truth and justice."

Edogawa-kun opens his eyes enough to glare at Kaito KID, which only succeedes in making the thief's smile sharper.

The mocking tone in KID's voice makes Mouri-san snap her attention on him, glare equally as present on her face. "He's just a child, you perverted thief." Her eyes widen in shock as she realizes what she said.

Kaito KID raises his hands in front of him. "I had to make sure you knew the truth!"

"There were a million other ways you could've done that!"

"Oh, but none would've bothered detective-kun as much as messing with you, now would they?" His smile doesn't falter even as Mouri-san's (and Edogawa-kun's) glare gets more intense.

"He's misdirecting us!" Edogawa-kun points out.

"But you know why he does it."

"The information you need is all there. What kind of two cents detective are you that you can't figure it out on your own?"

"Conan-kun!"

"Ah! Sorry, sorry, Hakuba-niisan! I didn't mean it- that's a lie. I did mean it." He groans when he finishes. "Stupid truth gas!"

"That's very rude, Conan-kun."

"If the child figured it out so easily, then he has a point in calling us out," Inspector Nakamori says.

"He's the highlight of my heists, that's for sure." KID looks caught off guard by his own admission.

He's lowering his guard. Or he's getting nervous.

"Answer the question, KID," Hakuba tries once more.

"You could ask the great detective. He seems to have a deduction ready."

"I want to hear it from you."

"I have a general idea of what could be going on based on observations of the heists I've attended." If anyone is surprised by Edogawa-kun's eloquence, no one says. "I lack a lot of background information, mainly on everything regarding before Kaito KID's hiatus -which my dad refuses to collaborate with me on because he says I have to figure it out myself. Fair, but rude. It's not like I have access to police records of the time." Everyone is staring at him, but Edogawa-kun seems to not have noticed. Or the drug is taking more effect than expected and he truly can't control himself. "And what I have isn't enough to account for all incognitas, and it would be unbecoming of a detective to offer up an incomplete explanation." He finally takes some time to breathe.

Which probably didn't help, considering their air was probably still extremely contaminated.

"And that's why Conan-kun is my favorite critic."

Inspector Nakamori shakes himself out of his stupor and addresses the room. "What's it matter?! He's a thief! A criminal! He should be behind bars, and that's all we need to know!"

Edogawa-kun frowns and answers the rhetorical question before Hakuba himself can. "Establishing a motive is an important step in investigating any criminal offence. It can help discern how and who. In homicide cases, it can make the difference between a premeditated murder and manslaughter."

Mouri-san's eyes haven't left Edogawa-kun's face since the little detective entered the conversation. Hakuba can't discern what she's thinking, but he can tell she's wearing the same face Edogawa-kun has when he's gathering and putting together the clues to a particularly complex trick.

"This is different, kid," inspector Nakamori says condescendingly (his tone isn't lost on Edogawa-kun, judging by how his face contorts). "This is just thievery."

"To neglect any piece during the investigation of a case, would mean to be willing to come to an incorrect or incomplete conclusion," Edogawa-kun answers. "It would mean not caring about the truth behind it."

At this point, Hakuba is just a witnessing, partially slack jawed, how Edogawa-kun goes toe to toe with the Inspector. Kaito KID looks to be enjoying the display, revelling in the chaos caused by it.

"Share it with us, then," he tells Edogawa-kun. "Let's combine our information."

Edogawa-kun takes a sharp breath and shakes his head, jaw and fists clenched tightly.

They were all so focused on Edogawa-kun that none of them notice Kaito KID making his way towards them.

"That's enough terrorizing my littlest critic." KID picks up Edogawa-kun and returns to his spot. Edogawa-kun glares at him alongside Mouri-san, but his looks to be more of an annoyed expression than anger.

"This is humiliating," he says. "I'll have my revenge."

"You still owe me a favor, detective-kun."

"I let you go that one time with the Junior Detectives."

"Pppff, you let me go all the time." KID waves the hand that's not holding Edogawa-kun to his side dismissively. "That doesn't count."

"YOU LET HIM GO?" Inspector Nakamori yells, reminding the two others of their audience. Edogawa-kun startles.

"He saved the Junior Detectives' lives," Edogawa-kun says.

"I don't need him to let me go. I'm perfectly capable of doing my own escapes, thank you very much. He's a child. It's not like he can do much to stop me."

"You don't seem to think so when I have you cornered with a soccer ball."

"Those things are weapons of mass destruction and you shouldn't be allowed to use them!" KID hisses.

Hakuba decides to end their little debate. "We've gotten off topic. My question has yet to be answered."

"It wouldn't be very fun if I just gave you the answer, wouldn't it?" KID says, with his smile still in place. "After all, Conan-kun has spent all this time working to figure it out. It wouldn't be very polite to let his efforts go to waste."

"So you admit it," Hakuba says. "Your motives are different from the previous Kaito KID."

"Or maybe," KID says. "Maybe you've been wrong all along."

Inspector Nakamori takes a step forward. "Saguru-kun was right, then? You're a different Kaito KID than the one from 8 years ago?"

It's the first time Hakuba has ever seen KID's smile falter, and for as fast as he fixed it back on his face, he doesn't think he would've noticed if he hadn't been paying close attention to it in the first place.

Inspector Nakamori curses under his breathe, rubbing at his eyes with his fingers.

"I don't want KID dead." Edogawa-kun's voice is marely a whisper. The phrase surprises everyone, Edogawa-kun included, who pales when all the attention turns to him.

"All efforts to apprehand Phantom thief 1412 have been non-lethal." Inspector Nakamori attempts to reassure Edogawa-kun. Hakuba frowns in thought. "You knows this, kid."

Hakuba checks his watch. He doesn't have much time to get the truth out of KID with this,and he doubts this method would work again.

"The police is using non-lethal action." Mouri-san's voice is barely audible. She's looking at KID and Edogawa-kun with an unreadable expression on her face. "But... Sonoko said there have been rumors of people hearing gunshots during some of Kaito KID's heists," she says, careful. Her eyes don't leave his face.

Hakuba turns sharply towards he thief. On his face, the same cocksure smile. The same can't be said for Edogawa-kun, who looks seconda away from passing out, his fingers clenching KID's vest tightly. "Someone else wants to get to you," he says. "But... why. I'm still missing something."

"There's plenty of people unhappy with me for stealing their precious gems, you know?" KID boasts, making a rose appear in his hand, making a show of examining it. "It's not so surreal to think people would want to take revenge." The rose turns into the Alexandrite that was that day's target. He holds it up to the sliver of moonlight coming from one of the room's windows.

Inspector Nakamori's eye twitches at the sight, but he holds himself and says, "There isn't any mention of gunshots in any of the official reports of any of Kaito KID's heists."

KID flicks the gemstone up in the air, letting it fall back into Edogawa-kun's hands.

When he sees Edogawa-kun with the gem in his hands, face unsurprised by the gesture, Hakuba feels like a lightbulb lit up. "You give everything back," he mutters. "You give everything back," he says, louder this time. "That's what I've been missing. The privious Kaito KID kept all that he stole, but you give everything back."

"I think that's common knowledge at this point, detective-san."

Hakuba shakes his head. He checks his watch. "Why go all the trouble of stealing the gems if you have no intention of keeping them?"

"The thrill?" Mouri-san and Inspector Nakamori say at the same time.

"That's what they said of the first KID, too. His criminal profile looked at the flashy white suit, the magic tricks, and the general showmenship and called it narcisistic behaviour. Attention seeking," he says. "And that can still apply to you."

"Hey-" the protest goes ignored.

"But that doesn't explain why you decided to give the gems back. Afterall, it's considerably more effort to return them without being seen that it would be to jsut keep them." He takes a step towards the thief. "You're looking for something." Another step. "And the people shooting at you are doing the same. And you don't want them to have it."

"That's an interesting theory, detective-san." KID tries to keep his voice stable, but the prolonged exposure to the serum, combined with the nervousness caused by Hakuba getting closer to the truth, is going its job, and KID's voice wavers.

[genericpuff]

hello! ik this is a pretty weird question but regarding lore rekindled, do you plan on keeping the elements of sexual trauma, or are they removed entirely? just a genuine question ^^ feel free to ignore and i hope u have a good day!!!

Rekindled will not be including the SA plotline from LO. This is for a variety of reasons:

1.) The SA plotline wasn't originally present in the pilot version of LO and, throughout the comic, feels like a tacked on plotline that wasn't ever intended to be progressed or resolved properly. And that's a shame because the people who loved the premise of that plotline in the beginning (myself included) deserved better than that, which I'm sure is contradictory to my own reasoning to not try and do it better in LR, but that brings us to-

2.) I don't want to try and "fix" a plotline that could be very intrinsic to Rachel's own experiences. Though she's claimed in her interviews that her situation is "not the same as Persephone's", she has alluded to having her own experiences that she's had to identify and cope with and if the SA plotline in LO is meant to be a reflection of that, I want to respect that as something that just should not be touched.

3.) To go hand-in-hand with #2, that leaves my own personal reasoning beyond the objective: as an SA victim myself, LR doesn't feel like a story that I would want to write about such an experience through. I tackle those themes in my original work enough as it is and Rekindled has, by and large, been a wonderful break from writing through such a personal lens.

All that said, LR will involve plot beats regarding loss of autonomy that intersects with commonalities of SA trauma, they're just not exclusive or related to the SA plotline in LO. Persephone will still undergo her own character arc that may share elements with those of assault victims, it just won't be with Apollo as a perpetrator.

I hope that answers your question!!! I know there are mixed feelings regarding my decision to remove the SA plotline, but ultimately I did what I felt necessary to make for a better overall story, while still retaining themes and topics that we'll be tackling later that aim to better reflect the original source material - the myths themselves - off which both Rekindled and LO are based. Sorry if that's vague, I just don't want to spoil LMAO but rest assured, anything that broaches into more serious / mature / potentially triggering territory will be provided with content warnings ( ´ ▽ ` )

[angelnix]

slow mornings in january.

young!politician!snow ; a year after your arranged marriage with coriolanus, the two of you have gotten quite close now.

── a/n: a short fic for now ! might make this a series if im not too lazy <3

divider creds go to cafekitsune !

the first january.

"good morning, coryo." you softly coo, feeling the hangover hit you like a brick. you & your husband had hosted a new years party just last night, with lots and lots of drinking involved. the boy turns over from his position in bed with you, facing you with a soft smile.

"good morning to you too, doll. hows the hangover doin' ya?" he grasps you waist, pulling you closer. the two of you are skin-to-skin, just how you like it.

it's been a year since the marriage, you'll confess— it wasn't easy to get accustomed to the married life, especially being married to a complete stranger.

but it's been good. you've been good. the empty feeling in the snow home, gone after a few months, specifically one late night.

"d'you really gotta get up early today?" giving him the doe eyes, you pout. not wanting him to go to work right after a mind-aching party. since you two have familiarized yourselves with each other, being worried about the others wellbeing is quite normal now.

he sighs, "y'know i don't wanna." burying his face into your neck, murmuring, "i'd much rather stay here with you, take care of you and that hangover of yours."

coriolanus having his own caring side was a shock to you, his usually stoic demeanor dominating his personality.

you play with his platinum curls, the softness filling your hand. "i can fend for myself, hon."

"but most of the maids arent here." he follows, "are you sure? and your sure you won't get too bored without me?"

"yes baby, i can most certainly take care of myself— and yes, i won't get too bored without you here." you chuckle sweetly, "i'll miss you, though."

you can feel him pouting, his hot breath still on you. he whines, "i'll miss you so much too."

his soft side comforts you, bringing a warmth you've never felt before. he makes you feel childish, in the best possible way.

you two lay there for a while, you playing with his hair and him breathing into your neck. you clear your throat, "as much as i don't want you to, you should get to work hon."

he groans, "alright then, i'll get ready now.", you can feel a tinge of grump in his voice. coriolanus gets up, placing a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

˖ ࣪ . 🦢 ࿐ ˚ .

its been a bit since he left, youre still in bed, but you've picked up a dainty little book to read for the day. a knock on the door is heard, "good morning, mrs. snow.— sir is leaving for the day and asked if you'd like to meet him before he leaves.", a maid utters quitely, she's a shy little lady, but you don't mind.

you straighten up, leaving the bed and taking a peek at the mirror before leaving your bedroom. walking downstairs, you hear the car engine running, arriving down, you see coriolanus patiently waiting for your goodbye.

his hands are tucked into the pockets of his red coat, his hair is slicked back. something about him feels so husky, so goddamn handsome.

you give him a wide smile, meeting his eyes.

"hey, doll. 'bout to leave now, kiss me goodbye?"

you tiptoe, face closer to his. you make an audible mwah! noise as you kiss him, the playfulness displayed in your eyes. you pull away, "i love you", you mutter. he cups your face, thumb on your bottom lip, "i love you more."

he leaves and you follow him out of the house, watching him enter the car as you wave him goodbye. "stay safe!" you shout, blowing him a kiss before the car leaves entirely. your softness elicits a smile from the usually stern man.

you enter back inside, now, what shall you do for today?

[cosmolog]

Miguel's Secret

Miles and Gwen venture into a large storage room in the spider society, finding secrets long hidden from the rest of the society by Miguel.

Enjoy!

"We shouldn't be back here. I already made a bad first impression with Miguel back there and now he's gonna want to actually kill me. Who knows? Maybe he'll throw a chair at me next time instead of food-"

"Shh" Gwen silenced him, before glancing around and shining her phone light on the various boxes that had been discarded in the room.

Her light settled on the end of the room, where a curtain had been hung from the ceiling and drawn closed, as if to hide something. She started walking towards it, only for Miles to catch a grip of her wrist.

"Miles, let go" She huffed in annoyance at her friend's protectiveness.

"What if it's something you really don't want to see?" He said, looking concerned.

"It won't be. It'll probably just be some more boxes. I wanna check though." She replied. Miles' eyes flickered between the white curtain sheet and Gwen before he sighed deeply and let go of her. He remained close behind her as she advanced to the curtains.

Gwen took a deep breath, held it, then pulled the curtain back, revealing a woman lying down on an examination table. Upon further inspection, the two realised she wasn't a human but a very realistic-looking robot, judging by the red ring on the side of her head.

Miles let out a profanity while Gwen gasped in freight. "Okay, not a dead body but still just as creepy" He whispered.

Gwen stepped closer to the robot, pressing the red ring which changed to blue, and the robot woke up...

(Switch to first person)

My eyes gently opened at the sound of voices. Two young voices, one male, one female. Both sounded scared. I slowly moved my head in their direction. I looked between the two teens, not recognising their faces. I gently sat up, after not moving in so long, I felt stiff. By now, the teenagers were less scared and more defensive.

"And who are you supposed to be?" The boy asked.

I gave him a kind and gentle smile. "I am Y/n. And you?"

"Miles"

"Gwen" The girl added.

I got off the table and looked around the dark area. "Where...where am I?"

Gwen and Miles looked at each other to exchange looks only they understood. Gwen answered me.

"You're in the Spider Society's basement, or should I say the storage room"

I grew sad. Where was I locked inside the storage room. And then the last moments of my last encounter of seeing light came back to me. I could still remember every detail of his face, my creator, Miguel O'Hara. "Miguel..." I whispered to myself, but Gwen and Miles heard me.

"You know Miguel?" Gwen asked.

"Why, of course. I was his Ai after all" I smiled sadly.

"A second Ai of Miguel's?" Miles tilted his head.

"I was Miguel's first Ai assistant, just before he made Lyla. The only reason he never mentions me is because I had a defect. Or, at least, that's what he called it. Miguel had programmed me to do a number of things, which involved making him breakfast and helping him with his work. He had made me a physical body, which looked so human sometimes it even tricked him. I would end up having to remind him I wasn't a real person." I sighed and looked down at my hands as I continued.

"My defect seemed to be a certain emotion. The first time I had ever displayed it, was the last because Miguel immediately stopped me and told me to sit down in the examination chair so he could check everything was alright. He told me to close my eyes and now I'm here. It seems he had shut me down for a while. Ever since I've been shut down, I've been searching for a reason as to why he would shut me down but-"

"He thought you fell in love with him" Gwen stated.

I looked up at her surprised. "What?" I whispered.

"You loved him, didn't you?" Gwen pressed.

"Gwen, I don't think you should be nailing her with questions like this" Miles said, looking worried.

"No, we need to know"

"We really don't"

"You love him" Gwen ignored Miles, stepping closer to me causing me to step back.

"I.."

"Gwen, stop it"

"Your hesitation just confirms it. You fell in love and he killed you for it" Gwen stated.

"Gwen!" Miles scolded, not believing she had just said that.

I looked down solemnly. "Death is never our own decision" I said.

"You poor AI" Gwen sighed, turning to Miles. "Does Miguel know she's awake?"

"Let's hope not."

Part Two